Act III — The VoicesSection 19 of 74
Malchus Is Not Low Self-Esteem
This cannot be stressed enough.
Leis lah m’garmah klum is not a psychological command to become small, voiceless, ashamed or dependent upon human domination.
A person who says, “I am worthless,” is still making the self the central object of consciousness.
Bittul says something else.
“I am real, but I am not self-originating.”
“My gifts are real, but they are gifts.”
“My voice matters, but I did not create speech.”
“My soul matters, but I did not breathe myself into existence.”
“My dignity is real precisely because it comes from One infinitely beyond my ego.”
This is why authentic bittul can produce courage rather than timidity.
David does not become passive because he trusts Hashem.
He faces Goliath.
Moshe does not dissolve because he is called the humblest person.
He confronts Pharaoh.
Humility before Hashem can free a person from unhealthy submission before human beings.
If my worth depends entirely upon your approval, I am your captive.
If my worth is received from Hashem, I can listen to you without worshipping you.
Malchus bows upward.
Therefore she can stand below.
This is also why the Chavah Kadmonah warning concerning Malchus rising without bittul is so important. The alternative to self-erasure is not self-deification. The receiver’s voice must rise while remaining connected to givenness. Otherwise receptive depth can curve inward and become narcissism.
A mature Malchus therefore has both dignity and surrender.
She knows she is a throne.
She knows Whose throne she is.